Well here we are again, so soon it seems. The fact that I’m here to see an entire decade that I’ve lived through come to an end is a blessing! This year both began and ended in ways I never imagined, but God has truly kept me through it all. 2019, it’s been rough. But in midst of it all, so much growth has taken place. Things that I needed to endure and learn in order to be right where I am today. Let me tell you, I was just talking to my cousin on Christmas Eve about how there’s something so beautiful about God’s sovereignty, His hands at work in the smallest of details in your life. And when you peel back the layers of everything that has taken place, and you begin to understand the why and the importance of where it’s taking you, you can have a whole new appreciation for His work in your life. And that’s the place that I am thankful to be at!
I’ve been a little hesitant on this year’s reflection. Honestly because it’s been one of the hardest seasons of reflection that I’ve gone through. I can’t say that this year was horrible, definitely wasn’t any worse than 2018. But I will say that it was one of the most challenging years of my adult life, and that’s because in hindsight I realize this year was all around change. And change is and has always been something that’s very difficult for me. I get emotionally attached to things, people, routines, and when that’s shaken up, it’s not always easy for me to adjust to my new reality. This year showed me that is an area that I HAVE to grow in. Change can be thrown at you at any given time, in fact I’m expecting a whole lot of positive change in this new year and I have to be ready.
This holiday season was much different than what I would have expected, and even more different from just last year. It was my first holiday season in my new apartment in a new city, the first holiday season by myself and single in over 2 years, and most importantly, the first without my papa. I was pretty open about losing my grandfather this year, but I kept my breakup pretty private. So you can imagine that a year battling unexplainable grief plus an unexpected heartbreak on top of that was pretty challenging. Travis Greene’s album Broken Record has pulled me throughhhh. [Honestly music got me through most days, morning worship music sessions are so therapeutic.] But I believe that with much pain and loss, God has a way of making up for it in a sense. And He has given me constant reassurance throughout my pain, continuous signs that my papa is with me, and reminders about my future that He is mapping out just for me. So I’m on a journey of forgiveness so that I do not block those blessings that are coming for me.
Of course I always share my goals and plans in my official first post of the new year, so I’ll save that for then. However, this year wasn’t all bad. In fact, I experienced some of my best experiences professionally. And for that I am so grateful to God! Making new clients who became friends, being able to style someone specific that I spoke into existence in 2018, ending the year with a live segment on the news, just to name a few! I won’t reflect on the goals I set for myself that I did not accomplish this year, because I think I accomplished so much that I didn’t expect, it made up for it. I know it’s super cliche, it’s floating all over social media. But 2020 WILL be an amazing year of manifestation for me. I’ve already spoken and prayed it over my life. And I will not detour from the path that I am on. As I mentally and spiritually prepare for my church’s yearly NYE service, I am trying to look past my losses and instead focus in on the things for which I am grateful for. This year taught me that life is so short, and I have SO much to be grateful for. My parents are alive and well, my two beautiful grandmothers are still here with me. My siblings are thriving in their marriages and careers. I have two beautiful nieces, one born just a week before Christmas! And another niece or nephew on the way! My car is paid for and still running LOL hallelujah! Both my 9-5 and my 5-9 are pouring out blessings! Greater things are coming, I’m claiming it all! I’ve come to far for minor setbacks to defeat me! ✨
Just a word of encouragement, which I found myself giving a lot of this year despite my own struggles: don’t ever allow a minor setback or circumstance that you did not expect to determine your life’s outcome. Tears of pain will turn into tears of joy and gratitude, I speak that over my own life. Push through the hurt, I have been for months and still will. But most importantly go through that journey with God, and He will make all things new. Know your worth!! This year taught me how to walk away from something I never imagined my life without, but because I know the type of woman that I am and have been, I was able to do it boldly and I’ll never look back. I still have so far to go, but I am proud of where I am. I have accomplished some AMAZING things in the midst of my hurt, and He was right there with me in it all. I’m BEYOND proud of me and how I’m closing out this year. Saying that aloud brought tears to my eyes, because it hasn’t always been easy. God is calling me to greater, I’ve been saying this for years and it’s time for me to listen. I became a woman throughout this decade, I’ll even be celebrating my 10 year high school reunion already in 2020. God has kept me y’all, and I don’t even have the words to describe how grateful I am for this point that I’m at in life. But I do know that it is something to be grateful for.
Close out this year thanking God for keeping you, despite what you faced. I’m wishing you all a beautiful and prosperous Happy New Year! I’ll be back in 2020, discussing goals and all things fashion! THANK YOU to every person that read a blog, liked a photo, booked an appointment, gave me a compliment, ANY part that you have ever played in my business is appreciated more than you will ever know!! This is only the beginning! ✨ [*Singing* eyes haven’t seen, ears haven’t heard, there is so much still worth fighting for!]
Outfit: Sweater – H&M | Jeans – Zara | Boots – Aldo| Purse – Tory Burch| Shop this look here